My Calling.

I believe everyone is born with a purpose. Not necessarily a "destiny" per say -my believe in such a concept is still debatable; but a goal, a journey, or a passion, that they are supposed to pursue. Some people have art -painting, writing, song; some people have science, or mathematics, or other things. Some people are born to be protectors, to help, to heal, to defend. I am writing today, about my own purpose.

There are only a small handful of things in this world that I know to be true -that I believe are unshakable. One of those is the divine - you don't have to believe in a higher power for there to be one. Another, is gravity (duh). Another, is myself, and certain aspects of my life. If you're detecting arrogance in that sentence, then you're reading what I say, and not what I mean. I have no delusions; I know this body is inconstant, and I am well-aware that my life is in flux. There are, specifically, two things about myself that I know to be solid, and set. One; I am supposed to be a mother. Two; I am supposed to serve my Country in the Armed Forces.

That I believe these things, specifically the latter one; bothers people. For a lot of reasons: I'm young. I'm a woman. My ex is in the Military. I didn't always want to do it (yeah, because you still want to be a pop-star like you did when you were ten, too, right?). It's dangerous. I'm liberal. I'm too feminine. I just got out of a long-term relationship, six months ago. The list goes on.

This is my response to that list. Not a defense. Not a rebuttal. I cannot change people's minds. And I am not ashamed of my choice. This is, at a base line, me telling you why.


I am a strong person. In every way. Physically, I am strong -not world-class-wrestler-strong, but definitely above average. Mentally and emotionally I am strong, determined, and secure. I know who I am, and I make no decisions about my future without great forethought.

I love this Country. I want to serve and protect her. I want to work as a part of this Country and make it better. I want to fight so that each person who reads this entry and disagrees with what I say, is still free enough to express those opinions aloud. I have been a soldier, or a warrior, in one way or another, in every lifetime and I again feel called to do it.

That's another reason -I feel called to this. It feels right. I haven't felt so sure, and so right about a decision in my life in a very long time. God has given me the go-ahead; and I am taking it. This is my calling. There is a very big part of me -something on a primal, instinctual level, that knows that this is what I should be doing.

And most importantly -above passion, above patriotism, above divine providence; is the most important reason why: Happiness. The idea of doing this, the idea of serving my Country in the Armed Forces, the idea of devoting at least a part of my life to the Military makes me happy. I know what I want to do with my life, and I love it. Just that single fact makes me so happy I could stand and shout it from the rooftops (and would do, if people wouldn't think I was crazy). It makes me happy, and that is the most important part of all of this to me. I am called to do this, and I am so excited.

And I will do it. And be amazing. The military will be lucky to have me. I will do great things.

There are two truths that I will end this with:
First. To be perfectly honest, your opinion does matter to me, so please continue to be honest with me, even in regards to this decision.

Second. Regardless of what anyone says, I won't be changing my mind. This is who I am, and what I want to do, and I am proud of it.


"Some people live an entire lifetime
And wonder if they ever made a difference in the world.
Soldiers don't have that problem."