Five-hundred, twenty-five thousand, six-hundred minutes.

This past year was one of the worst years of my life, and at the same time, one of the most incredible ones.

I got my heart broken (again), by someone who swore they'd never break it (again).
I completely lost my sense of self.
I embodied almost everything I never wanted to be.

And then I found myself again (with the help of some amazing people).
I stood on my own two feet again.
I healed (still healing, really).

I learned so much about myself in the last year. I learned how much pain I can survive, and just how much strength I really have. I learned that faith, and trust, aren't feelings -they're choices. And forgiveness is, too. I learned that strength is so hard, and that it still hurts, but heartbreak helps make us who we are. I learned that the people I love have a lot more faith in me than I give them credit for. I learned that having a sense of spirituality, and some sort of belief, really does help. That it doesn't matter what you believe in, as long as you believe.

I learned that virtually nothing cheers me up like blasting the RENT soundtrack with the windows down on a meandering car ride.

I learned (am still learning) to put trust before fear.

I learned to pray.

I learned that some friendships are worth more than you realize, and that they're worth hanging on to through the storms.

I am a far better person than I give myself credit for. But I have the capacity to be so much more than that.


And in this new year, I will strive to be all that I can be. To love people without fear or reservations. To trust. To be compassionate, and strong, and reliable. To be honorable.