Of His grace and love.

I have found that I don't have enough wonder, at the power and grace of the Lord.

There is a strength and beauty that is evident in even the smallest flower. His grace is evident in everything. From the bright daffodils blooming on the sidewalk, withstanding the late-winter wind, to something as majestic as a thousand year-old oak three. And so rarely do I ever stop to notice. It is an interesting fact, I think. How rarely I take time to stop and appreciate the glory found in the world that God has created.

God can, and does, do so much in the world. In our lives. And we so rarely give Him credit for it.

I am a good person, I think. I try hard to be compassionate, kind, loving, understanding, and forgiving. Some people call be strong, or wise.

All of those things I have, I gained from God. Everything that I am, everything good about me, is there because God decided it for me. And blessed me with it. All of my strength, my passion, my drive, my compassion, my kindness- all of it was gifted to me by my heavenly Father.

I am learning that there is no "without God." He is there with us, every moment or every day, whether we want Him to, or not. He is with us, at all times, standing next to us, holding our hands, and offering us shelter.

One night I dreamed a dream.
I was walking along the beach with my Lord.
Across the dark sky flashed scenes from my life.
For each scene, I noticed two sets of footprints in the sand,
one belonging to me and one to my Lord.

When the last scene of my life shot before me
I looked back at the footprints in the sand.
There was only one set of footprints.
I realized that this was at the lowest and saddest times of my life.
This always bothered me and I questioned the Lord about my dilemma.

"Lord, You told me when I decided to follow You,
You would walk and talk with me all the way.
But I'm aware that during the most troublesome times of my life
there is only one set of footprints.
I just don't understand why, when I need You most, You leave me."

He whispered, "My precious child, I love you and will never leave you,
never, ever, during your trials and testings.
When you saw only one set of footprints, It was then that I carried you."



Because, no matter what we do, or think, or say- he loves us. A never-ending, un-changing, all-encompassing, un-wavering love. Which is still so mind-blowing. Our human hearts can't even begin to fathom that kind of love.

"Israel," God says, in The Ragamuffin Gospel, "don't ever be so foolish as to measure my love for you in terms of your love for me! Don't ever compare your thin, pallid, wavering, and moody love with my love, for I am God, not man."

Human love, Brennan says, will always be a faint shadow of God's love. Not because it is too sugary or sentimental, but simply because it can never compare from whence it comes. Human love, with all it's passion and emotion, is a thin echo of the passion/emotion love of Yaweh.

I said to a friend, a short time ago, that I couldn't remember what it felt like to fall in love. I remember what it feels like to be in love, but falling is just a faded memory, years past. This caused me distress, when I realized that I am putting myself in an earthly relationship where I might someday fall in love. But then I realized something: I already am falling in love. Not with Preston, but with God.

With God, I am whole. I am happy. I am safe. My heart is lighter, larger, more full, when I am with Him. My greatest desire is to make Him happy. To please Him. When I think of who I want to spend the rest of my life with, He is the first one who I think of. With no earthly commitment issues to get in the way.

I hope to someday fall in love again -in an earthly romance. Maybe even with Preston (we'll see). But that romance will always come second to God. To the one who I love more than anything, in heaven. Who loves me as I am, flaws and all. That is such an incredible feeling.

I am falling in love with God. (Not in a literally romantic sense, but you should know that by now.) More and more every day. Like a light inside of me, bursting forth- I want to shout it from the rooftops:

I love Him.

And He loves me, too.


Hell yeah.